Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Other Woman

Yesterday, my husband received an email:

"You know you want me. Don't deny it.

That hussy.

Home wrecker.

He wasn't going to be fooled.

He replied:

"Good Day Lady Lucille,
I'm a happily married man who has a wonderful wife and little baby boy. Please seek opportunities in other homes. You're not
welcomed here!"


First she moved in on my upper back, now she's movin' in on my man!

"Lucy, your days are numbered in this house!" he tells her. She gets insulted.

I'm living in a bizarro episode of "Big Love," with a lipoma playing the role of another "wife." And I'm stuck with this bitch for at least a few more weeks.

In the meantime, I'm trying to make the best of it.

'"I'm taking Lucille to the playground," I'll say.
"Luce LOVED the fries at Elevation Burger!"
Clearly, I'm trying to expose her to a little culture before she leaves.

My friend, Bess, suggested that if I register for the Broad Street Run (10 mile race) next month, Lucille get her own bib number. Can you imagine if Lucille beats out the Kenyans to win the race? Now that would really be SOMETHING!

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