Tuesday, November 24, 2009

My Solution to World Hunger

My husband has one more chance.
One more chance to pass the 4th and final part of the CPA exam.

He has already taken it more than a couple of times. It is not inexpensive.

He is very intelligent and capable of passing this test. When he studies for the exams, he knocks them out.
He simply has not studied. Okay, maybe that's not fair or accurate.
He has studied in between watching Phillies playoff games, dancing the Horah for the hell of it with me in the kitchen, and making our boy smile by making monkey noises.

He has one more chance.
If he fails the test again, I plan to purchase an alpaca for a family in need somewhere in Latin America.
I plan to name him after my husband.
I figure I should take the amount of money equivalent to the failed test and help improve someone's quality of life.

I have my alpaca all picked out and it looks like this:

Imagine if we all bought animals for families around the world every time our loved ones procrastinated. We could end poverty around the world! (Hang on a minute, I've got Bono on the phone....)

My husband is up for the challenge, I think. But he is now using my logic against me.

With his sass and charm, he has informed me that he will be purchasing a water buffalo, named Stacy Biscardi, for a poor Fillipino village, in honor of my failure to clean up my desk. He will also be providing a goat to a family in Africa due to my failure to remove the clothes from the dryer. In addition, some farmer in China will be pretty amped up to have a new cow thanks to my failure to fold the clothes that I abandoned in the dryer, hoping the socks would pair themselves magically.

So, if any of you are looking to light up a life with a llama, look no further than the exposed dry wall in your kitchen or the trash your husband promised he would take out yesterday. We can all do our part. If you are so inspired, check out heifer.org.

Can you imagine if all of our pitiful procrastination started a global movement? It will all be thanks to my wonderful husband, the CPA (Clobbering Poverty's Ass).


  1. Its with great sadness to all your readers that no llama shall be purchased as you are now married to a CPA!

    However, in lieu of the goodwill you wanted to spread to those in need, i will still make such a contribution under the condition that the llama must be named Chavah:)

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