Tuesday, February 5, 2013

What Would You Be Willing To Do?

My husband woke up at 5 a.m. last Friday to gather with thousands to watch grown men fight like gladiators to shove the most chicken wings down their throats. Catching a glimpse of an unattractive woman flashing on the jumbotron was just a lucky bonus.

It had me thinking. Wow.

The things that men do just to get out of the house these days.

Ridiculous.  Embarrassing.  Stupid.

Tonight, I am going out to speak to college seniors about Women in the Workforce. A few friends laughed when I told them.  I did not initially find it funny, but upon reflection, it is.

I have been out of the "Workforce" for 4 years.  My former law firm does not even exist anymore.  My business cards are obsolete.  Maybe I am too.

That's the sad part.

Here's the funny part.

I am EXCITED to go speak to college seniors because it gets me out of the house, alone in my car, rocking out to music so loud it will probably lead to early deafness.  Most important, it gets me time away from my two wild and crazy and sweet and maddening little boys.  And that time is priceless.

So, I started thinking about all of the things that I would do or have recently done just to get the hell out of the house.

I would:

1. attend the funeral of a distant acquaintance
2. talk to maximum security prison inmates about Women in the Workforce
3. go to the dentist, even for x-rays and impressions

Recently, in an effort to escape from home, I have:

1. sat shiva for a relative stranger
2. taught mock trial to elementary school students
3. taken my husband to the ER for a minor illness (it was nice alone time)
4. attended multiple bridal and baby showers
5. driven 30 minutes to get my hair cut
6. sought solace in the supermarket aisles sans kids

Ridiculous.  Embarrassing.  Stupid.

What have you done?

Maybe the moms and dads of the world aren't so different after all.  We all need to get the hell out.  Where we go and what we do doesn't so much matter.

Still, watching a wing-eating competition is where I draw the line.  I don't even like thinking about it, let alone writing about it.  If I want to watch real gladiators fight, I'll stay home with my boys. And, if that isn't work, I don't know what is!

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